A recent survey by marriage agency Tawkify asked more than 1,000 American adults how unemployment has affected their dating lives, from first dates to long-term relationships. Survey respondents shared multiple situations in which unemployment can have a negative impact, such as canceling dates for financial reasons or being hesitant to ask someone out on a date at all.
Additionally, 38% of those surveyed said the biggest impact of unemployment on their love life was that it made them emotionally closed off.
Justin Lehmiller, senior research fellow in sex and relationships research at the Kinsey Institute and host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, isn’t surprised that so many adults report becoming emotionally closed off while unemployed — in fact, he expects that number to rise.
“If you think about the first question people ask when we meet, it’s often, ‘What do you do for a living?'” Lehmiller says.
Stephen Vallas, professor emeritus of sociology at Northeastern University, previously told CNBC that in the United States, “work is the most important way to prove your worth as a human being.” He pointed out that work is not only a means of earning a living, but also the main way for individuals to gain respect among their colleagues.
Emphasizing the meaning of work “may exacerbate feelings of shame and anxiety about being unemployed,” Lehmiller says. This makes it more vulnerable and difficult to be open to dating, he added.
It’s ‘perfectly fine’ to take a break from dating while unemployed
Given the emotions that come with being unemployed, Lehmiller says it’s “perfectly fine” to decide to take a break from dating and focus on yourself and your mental health.
For example, take a break from applying for jobs for a while and “give in to all the vices that are self-healing vices,” Dan Space, who has worked in human resources at companies like Electronic Arts and Spotify, previously told CNBC Make It. Watch a movie, order pizza, whatever you need.
If you decide to put your love life on hold, remember not to completely cut yourself off from people.
During difficult times like unemployment, “being able to rely on family and friends is very, very important,” he says.
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