It’s impossible to avoid difficult moments in life, but having the tools to get through them has a huge impact on how you recover.
As the daughter of music icon Diana Ross, Tracee Ellis Ross has spent most of her life in the spotlight. Tracy’s own career has seen her become an award-winning actress and co-CEO of Pattern Beauty, the hair care company she founded.
Ross spoke about how she perseveres when faced with hardship on a recent episode of her podcast, Aspire with Emma Grede. “On my worst day, I had to be the funniest. Sometimes in my life, on the worst days, I had to be beautiful,” Ross said.
She recalled a time when she was taping an episode of the TV show “Girlfriends” after her stepfather passed away.
“We opened up the studio audience, but I continued to show up,” Ross explained. “I remember learning something inside the cell: that for me, there will always be a place and a part of me that is okay.”
Ross didn’t deny her feelings of shock and sadness, but tapped into another part of herself to keep showing up, she said. She said she has learned to be softer with herself and give herself grace during difficult times.
“Give it space, give it a voice, and let it be heard by someone who will embrace it with love,” Ross said. She then speaks to herself compassionately using the words “May I.”
“By the way, I use ‘may i’ instead of ‘I am.’ I feel like it respects where you are and invites you to where you want to go,” Ross said.
When going through difficult times in life, Ross uses affirmations like, “Can I lean into the part of me that is deeply grateful for this event, this opportunity, that I am about to participate in?” or “Would you mind if I help you with this?”
Positive self-talk is great for improving emotional endurance, Columbia University-trained psychologist Becky Kennedy told CNBC Make It in August. Research shows that talking positively to yourself makes you mentally stronger and better able to cope with challenges.
“Self-talk is very powerful. How we ultimately feel about something is determined by our feelings and how we talk to ourselves about those feelings. We can’t change how we feel, but we can change how we talk to ourselves about our feelings,” Kennedy said.
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