Every parent wants their child to come to them years later, spend time together, share victories and setbacks, and seek guidance.
As a conscious parenting researcher, I have studied over 200 children and am a mother myself. This kind of lifelong intimacy is built early in small everyday moments that teach children when it’s safe to be completely themselves around their parents.
Here are some habits parents should start early if they want their relationships to last through adolescence and adulthood.
1. Trust them
Children meet the expectations we set for them. If children are micromanaged or constantly overcorrected, they may gradually become irritable or secretive.
Provide trust early and often. Try saying, “I trust you. If you need anything, please come to me.” This trust becomes the foundation you rely on later on when life gets more complicated.
2. Normalize all emotions, not just pleasant ones.
If you want your child to come to you as a teenager, they need to learn early on that their inner world is safe with you.
If you cry and shut out your fears and frustrations, your children may stop crying to you. Validation may sound like, “Everything you feel is allowed here.” Emotional safety later leads to emotional openness.
3. Stop trying to control who they become.
I have seen many children walk away from their parents because they feel suffocated by expectations.
Give them space to be curious, loud, and weird. As children grow up, they continue to connect more with people who allow them to be who they are.
4. Fully accept the parts you don’t particularly understand.
Acceptance is not the same as consent. It’s a message that says, “You are loved and welcome here for who you are.”
Children stay close to adults who give them room to embrace their whole identity, not just the parts that are easy to parent. If you feel accepted now, you’ll be less likely to hide yourself later.
5. Correct any mistakes
The strongest parent-child relationships are built on repair. Replace “I’m sorry you feel that way” with “I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I’m going to do better.”
When parents take responsibility, they teach their children that mistakes don’t destroy relationships.
6. Listening is better than talking
When children feel that they are not being listened to, they are more likely to shut down. Therefore, when they share their fears and frustrations, they are usually seeking connection.
Instead of immediately suggesting a solution, try saying, “Tell me more about that.” By listening, you build a bridge that they keep crossing as the stakes get higher.
7. Let your opposing views be heard without punishment.
If children learn early on that disagreements lead to conflict, punishment, and abandonment of love, they will be less likely to be honest later in life.
Healthy intimacy requires emotional freedom. So if your child disagrees with your opinion, respond with curiosity rather than control. Teach me that being honest is safe and that it will never threaten your bond.
Reem Raouda is a conscious parenting guru and creator of the BOUND and FOUNDATIONS journals, now available together in the Holiday Emotional Safety Bundle. She is widely known for her expertise in child mental health and for redefining what it means to raise mentally healthy children. Connect with her on Instagram.
Want to give your kids the ultimate advantage? Sign up for CNBC’s new online course, “How to Raise Financially Smart Kids.” Learn how to build healthy financial habits now to set your kids up for greater success in the future. Use coupon code EARLYBIRD for 30% off. Offer valid from December 8th to December 22nd, 2025. Terms and conditions apply.
