Single people these days only put in a certain amount of effort when they go out.
According to a recent DatingNews.com survey of nearly 1,500 U.S. adults, the majority (61%) don’t think they’ll travel more than 30 minutes for a first date. 38% said they had even given up on a potential matchup because of distance.
“It’s not surprising,” says dating and relationship coach Anwar White. Relationship expert Natashia Miller agrees. Here’s why they think single people are so picky about distance, and their advice for those trying to find a mate.
“People are concerned about affordability.”
There are probably many factors at play as to why people stay close to home while on a date.
First, “people are concerned about affordability,” Miller says. According to BMO Financial Group’s 2026 BMO Real Financial Progress Index, the average cost of a date, including grooming, transportation, and the date itself, is $189. Millennials in particular spend an average of $252 per date.
There are other issues with the app as well. According to a previous study by DatingNews.com, 73% of singles plan to use a dating app to find a match this year. It gives you the feeling that your options are endless, making it easier to choose. It also causes dating fatigue.
“If someone looks at their match rate or swipe rate on an app and it seems low, they may really wonder if it’s really worth going on this date,” says White.
Since the pandemic, people have become more accustomed to staying at home.
“I think a lot of our lives have really become home-based,” he says, adding that the attitude might be “I’m not going to go to a random bar or club and unfortunately spend $100 when I can watch Netflix and swipe for free at home.”
“If you live in a metropolitan area, you have more options.”
Both White and Miller don’t think this attitude is necessarily a bad thing, as long as it means people are being intentional about who they invest their time with. However, they recommend doing some work in advance to determine if the travel time is really worth it.
For example, try scheduling a 30- to 60-minute conference call with the person before making an appointment to meet. “If the other person doesn’t call, is very late, or forgets to call, that’s a sign,” White says.
Also, consider location. In rural areas, you may have fewer options for who to date, Miller says. “If you’re in a metropolitan area, you have more options, so you can be a little more strict in that regard,” she says.
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