When I think of Gloria Steinem, I’m reminded of four words she said to me in 2004 that I’ll never forget. “You can make a difference.”
I was 19 years old and an undergraduate student at the University of Pennsylvania. In college, I was involved with Steinem’s youth organization, ChoiceUSA (later renamed URGE: Unite for Reproduction & Gender Equity). And in 2004, I was an organizer for the Women’s March in Pennsylvania. This was one of the largest women’s marches in history and gave me my first real opportunity to use my voice to make a difference.
That year, I met Steinem at a ChoiceUSA meeting. I was very clumsy and emotional, but I wanted to thank her for her work. I thought she would just nod and move on.
Her reply surprised me. The idea wasn’t hers, she said. They were from a group of black and Latina women who had been fighting for civil rights for 40 years. She said they taught her about pursuing justice and using her voice as power. Her role was to give them a microphone through writing and speaking. And, she said, I too can make a difference.
Her words have stayed with me for over 20 years. Gloria Steinem, who died Wednesday at the age of 92, was one of the most famous faces of American feminism. But she used this moment to point to herself, give credit where credit is due, and encourage me to use my voice.
With those four words, she taught me that, as she said, I can make a difference. Work, learn from those who came before you, and treat every interaction, even with star-struck college students like I was at the time, as an opportunity to bring lessons back.
“It felt like a lonely voice.”
For reasons I couldn’t explain at the time, I started volunteering at my university. I grew up in Pittsburgh as a shy, introverted girl in an Indian-American family.
I love my culture, but I’ve also seen many women in my community give up choices on what to study, who to marry, and when to quit their jobs. These women I watched growing up never complained. They accepted their reality. Some were proud of what they sacrificed, while others blamed those who did not.
At first, I felt like I was the one with the problem. Who was I, the first generation in a new country, to take my grievances home, to question tradition, to ask if there was another way?
But when I started working at ChoiceUSA, I realized that just because I felt like I was the only voice in the community asking these questions, it didn’t mean I was alone.
“Steinem taught me not to be afraid.”
One of the principles Steinem defended was activist Carol Hanisch’s assertion that the personal is political. When we feel something intuitively or intuitively, it is data. When we use this data and the wisdom of our ancestors to take action, change happens.
During my career as an author and keynote speaker, I have spent the past 20 years studying how people connect, make decisions, build communities, and achieve common goals. I also study leadership and coach executives.
The biggest obstacles that even the most successful leaders face are the same ones I struggled with when I was 19 years old. They often wait for permission to share what is important to them and do something about it.
In an age of consensus and algorithms, it can be difficult to listen to your own intuition and find your authentic voice. But Steinem taught me that I shouldn’t be afraid to try, or that I should get advice from people who have been at it longer than me.
Gloria Steinem probably had no idea what she was doing that day in 2004, or maybe she did. Most of us underestimate how far a single sentence can travel. But I learned from Steinem that even one small interaction can have a lasting impact. And today, in her honor, I say that. You too can make a difference.
Erica Dhawan is a leadership expert, keynote speaker, and author of Digital Body Language and the forthcoming Use Your Brain: Think Deeper in a World on Autopilot (St. Martin’s Press, January 2027).
