The world feels heavy this holiday season. War, political division, and economic uncertainty combine to weigh on us, on top of the emotional and economic stressors that people are likely to experience during this time.
According to one report, 60% of Americans are feeling stressed about the holiday season. According to data from the American Psychiatric Association, 41% of adults said they expected holiday stress to increase compared to last year. Another study found that nearly seven in 10 people feel pressured to appear happier than they actually are.
So much for a fun vacation. While it may be tempting to lean into your inner Grinch, there is a more realistic middle ground. In the World Happiness Report, Nordic countries such as Finland and Denmark consistently rank at the top of the list, not because their people express ecstasy or euphoria, but because they report high life satisfaction rooted in stability, security, and low chronic stress.
Instead of putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to feel happier during the holidays, work on finding happiness. You can do that by practicing micro-actions that help interrupt stress patterns in your brain on a scale that most people can manage, such as small mood resets.
Here are 12 small, meaningful, research-backed micro-actions to help you feel happier this holiday season.
Label. When you feel sick or overwhelmed, stop and name the feeling. Even a simple label activates the part of the brain that regulates stress, calming your response to threat. It’s a simple way to stabilize yourself before your emotions take over. Thank people. Instead of listing things you’re grateful for, like the turkey and stuffing or the presents under the tree, express your gratitude directly to a specific person. For example, expressing gratitude to your neighbor for shoveling snow from your sidewalk can make you feel more connected and trusting. Focus on the positive or neutral. The brain has a negative bias and automatically scans for threats. This is why you tend to notice small annoyances, such as drivers refusing to merge. To stay positive and reduce conflict, try intentionally focusing on something neutral or slightly positive. Repeat one good thing. Before you go to bed, remember one good thing that happened that day. It can be something as simple as, “Drinking coffee makes me feel more comfortable.” Or, “I had a good laugh with my friends today.” This can help distract you from stressors and improve your emotional well-being. And it’s a reminder that no matter what kind of day you have, you can always expect something good to happen. Take a break from comparing and despairing. When we look at Instagram highlight reels, it’s easy to feel like our lives aren’t worth it. This condition, termed “upward social comparison,” can lower self-esteem and increase negative emotions. Pause your feed to remind yourself that everyone has good days and bad days. No one lives a perfect life. Please take 2 minutes to fill in the blanks below. “I may not have (X), but thankfully I have (Y).” Focus on how you feel. Focusing on smells, sounds, tastes, and textures quickly brings you back to the present and reduces anxiety. This type of sensory grounding is great when you’re in an overwhelming environment, like a crowded shopping center or a noisy holiday gathering. Let’s offer our gratitude quietly. Emotions can run high during large, busy family events. To reduce your frustration, try expressing your gratitude silently. Say to yourself, “I appreciate that she’s always here,” or “I can see that he’s really trying.” Even implicit gratitude activates the brain’s social bonding circuitry, which leads to empathy and positive regard. Plan small acts of generosity. Small acts of kindness trigger the release of dopamine, the brain’s reward and motivation chemical. Simple gestures like passing a hot drink to a friend or genuinely thanking a retail employee can lift your mood and make you feel socially connected. Let go of one expectation today. For example, don’t expect to be able to quickly walk to the grocery store or the mall. Instead, expect it to be busy and slow. That way, you’ll either feel neutral if it works, or be pleasantly surprised if it’s easier and faster than you expected. Do something deliberately and slowly. Think of it like pressing an internal brake pedal. Slow movements stabilize the heart and nervous system. Try it during the holiday season when wrapping presents, stirring something on the stove, or tasting food. Slow the movement in half. It’s a small reset to ease the hectic days of the holidays. Do a 30-second “awe scan” outdoors. Go outside and look for the little things that evoke a sense of wonder, like the breeze in the trees, the bright starry sky, or the glow of Christmas lights. Research on awe shows that while it reduces our focus on ourselves, it increases our connection to others, our sense of meaning, and our overall sense of well-being. Celebrate small victories. When you complete a small task, such as making your bed in the morning, your brain registers it as progress and builds expectations that you can move on to the next step. At the end of the day, congratulate yourself for sending a card, receiving a gift, or checking something off your list. These small milestones create momentum and motivation is key in an overwhelming season.
These small habits won’t take away the pressure of the holidays, but they can help you feel more stable during a season that often demands extra things from us. Being happy is enough during the holidays.
Honest moments and small habits of gratitude are better than piling up expectations and faking joy. In doing so, you may find that it creates real, lasting enjoyment in itself and provides a healthier foundation for the year ahead.
Jennifer Moss is an international speaker, award-winning journalist and author, workplace culture strategist, and co-founder of the Work Better Institute, a global workforce policy think tank. She is a former member of the World Happiness Council, affiliated with Gallup and the United Nations, and contributes to the annual World Happiness Policy Report. She is the author of three books, including Unlocking Happiness at Work.
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