Experts say pressure to buy presents may be ’emotional rather than rational’

With increasing financial pressures, deciding what and how much to give to your loved ones can be a challenge.

A recent Beyond Finance survey of more than 2,000 adults found that 65% of adults say it’s “nearly impossible” to know how much they can safely spend this holiday season.

“People are feeling torn between the desire to create joy and the guilt of knowing they can’t afford it,” Erica Lasle, chief financial wellness advisor at Beyond Finance, said in a press release. “Cultural norms, family traditions, social media, etc. compound the pressures and overspending becomes emotional rather than rational.”

Extravagance is not the goal, but generosity often is. Still, that generosity shouldn’t come at the expense of your financial well-being, she told CNBC Make It.

“You shouldn’t feel bad about being generous,” Raschl says. “We take care of others by being generous, but we must also remember to do it for ourselves.”

Here’s how to figure out how much you can safely spend on gifts throughout the holiday season and beyond.

If you’re struggling to stay on budget this holiday season, you’re not alone. Just 51% of adults set a holiday budget, and 64% have already exceeded that number or plan to do so, a Beyond Finance survey found.

So, how much is it safe to use? Financial planners generally say it depends on your preferences and financial situation. Some, including John Rapp, a certified financial planner in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, argue that a safe guideline is to set aside between 1% and 2% of your annual income for gifts.

“For most households, this creates a reasonable range for aligning generosity with long-term financial health,” Rupp said in an email.

Another idea, Rapp says, is to allocate 10 to 20 percent of your discretionary spending to gifts throughout the year, including holidays, birthdays, and weddings. This is based on a budget that follows the 50/30/20 budgeting method, where approximately 30% of your gross income goes toward discretionary purchases.

The amount you can “safely” spend on gifts depends on your financial situation. Therefore, it is wise to consult a trusted financial professional who can provide you with appropriate advice.

To avoid hurting yourself financially in the spirit of giving, here are Rasure’s top tips for keeping your spending at a comfortable level.

1. “Act really intentionally.”

“You have to be really intentional about[your budget]when it comes to gift-giving,” Raschl says.

That means comparing the amount you want to spend on a gift with the amount you can actually put into it, and adjusting as necessary. If the gift is very expensive and could put you in a financially uncomfortable or dangerous situation, such as racking up credit card debt without a repayment plan, consider giving something else.

“We know holidays come every year. We know birthdays come every year. And I think the more we can do before that, the better,” she says.

2. Pause

Rather than clicking “buy now” or taking a cart full of impulse purchases to the checkout, Rasure suggests taking a break. Think about whether you really need an unplanned purchase and how it will feel in the long run. If you think you’ll regret the expense later, skip it.

“Do one small thing: pause before you make every other purchase,” Rasure says.

3. Say no — and don’t feel bad about it.

The pressure to buy gifts for everyone in your life doesn’t have to make you give up on your financial well-being, Laschle says.

“Give yourself permission to say ‘no,'” she says. “It’s okay to prioritize your finances and where you’re going this holiday season. Give yourself the gift of saying no.”

That doesn’t mean limiting yourself from doing everything, she says. But if financial security is important to you, and going to too many events or buying too many presents would hurt that, it’s okay to take a step back.

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