If you want to raise successful, resilient children, help them find activities they really enjoy, says psychologist Angela Duckworth.
Duckworth said on the Oct. 13 episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast” that instead of forcing kids to try a particular sport or instrument, focus on spending time on a variety of extracurricular activities and spending the most time on the things kids think about the most.
Duckworth, a psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania who studies mental and emotional “grit,” said steering children toward activities that interest them could help them find passions, hobbies, and even future careers.
“I think a lot of it is great parenting, and a lot of it is being aware of what young people are thinking,” Duckworth added. “When you begin to notice where your mind is and what spontaneously grabs your attention, that’s the beginning of discovering the interests that can make you something like a genius at what you do.”
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Children who learn to maintain their interests, even on difficult days, develop confidence and resilience. Those two traits will help you succeed later in life, Duckworth said. A child may choose a sport or hobby and decide they don’t like it, but it’s important to continue rehearsing that instrument until the end of the athletic season or the next concert, she added.
Duckworth referenced her own experience as a parent. As a child, Lucy “hated doing her homework and practicing her viola,” but when Duckworth looked at Lucy’s iPad, she noticed that “all the tabs were open to make videos.” Ms. Duckworth also noted that she had seen Lucy reading the family’s cookbook.
Lucy ended up “volunteering at a restaurant washing dishes, but[at the time]I was helping out with the pastry chef,” Duckworth told CNBC’s Make It. “She literally made pastries every weekend and every summer from eighth grade to probably 12th grade…Her lifelong interest in food and cooking is still evident.”
Not every interest needs to become a full-fledged career. Pursuing only what you love doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll make a lot of money, best-selling author and New York University marketing professor Scott Galloway told CNBC Make It in 2019.
“Don’t follow your passion,” Galloway says. Instead, his advice is, “Find something you’re good at, invest 10,000 hours in it, and become good at it.”
For Duckworth, interest is just one of the four components of building grit. According to her research, this is the most common trait among successful people in all fields. Others include hard work, purpose, and hope.
“Anybody who’s great at what they do, there’s a curiosity there, right? Their mind is focused on the subject and they want to stay there,” Duckworth said. “When you start talking about something you really care about, you’re a genius[in that field]because that’s where your mind lives.”
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