England knew what was coming when Travis Head secured victory over Australia in a remarkable two-day Ashes Test in Perth.
A team that not only lost 0 wins and 1 loss in five consecutive games, but also threw away its strong position with a series of ill-advised shots, will be shattered by the home media.
Yes, Buzz Ball almost got beaten up.
So it was little wonder that the Western Australian group, who called Ben Stokes “cocky”, Joe Root “average” and England’s methods “careless slashing batting” before the ball was even thrown, condemned the horror show at Optus Stadium for tourists.
The Sunday Times (formerly the Western Australian Sunday Times) wrote on the front page that Head’s ‘Toraball’ had ‘turned the tables on the poor Poms’, while on the back page it said England had been ‘pommelled’ and ‘buzzballed’.
Meanwhile, the Australian said, “Trouble Ball killed Buzz Ball.”
In addition, Daniel Brettig of The Age magazine said that England gained momentum in the second innings and batted like “lemmings” as Olly Pope, Harry Brook and Joe Root were all sent off as England lost 39 for 6, taking three wickets with six throws and not conceding a run.
Bretting called England’s batting “atmosphere-based” and added that Buzzball “should be paying the same price as Slow Horse when the most entertaining limited series in years comes from England”. ah!
Moreover, as cricket.com.au put it, their ferocious pace attack tore apart Australia, with the tourists turning from the “buzzball wonders” of the opening day to “boiled candy” after 24 hours, with their “pride bruised” and “humiliating defeat” at Head’s trav balls.
Boycott: I can’t take this team seriously.
British media also took down the flamethrower, with a Telegraph headline calling England “heartless” and “self-destructive” and saying their batting was “an insult to Test cricket”. The term “weak surrender” was used by The Mail newspaper.
The Mail’s Lawrence Booth suggested Zak Crawley, who picked up his ninth England opener and the first player since Sky Sports’ Michael Atherton in 1999, “shouldn’t take more than one Test to save his career”, adding: “Many believe he’s lucky to have made it this far.”
Crawley drove Mitchell Starc in the first over for two out.
The final say rests with Sir Geoffrey Boycott, but he is never one to mince words. The former England batsman wrote in the Telegraph that “you can’t take this team seriously” as they “keep giving up Test matches doing the same stupid things”.
“They never learn, because they never listen to anyone outside their bubble, because they truly believe in their own propaganda,” Boycott added angrily.
The pace of the match in Perth means England will have almost two weeks until they next face Australia in the day-night second Test in Brisbane from December 4.
We can probably expect more media attacks in the meantime.
Ashes Series in Australia 2025-26
UK and Ireland all the time
1st test (Perspective – 21st to 25th November): Australia defeats England by 8 wickets 2nd Test (day/night): Thursday 4th December to Monday 8th December (4am) – The Gabba, Brisbane 3rd Test : Wednesday 17 December – Sunday 21 December (11:30pm) – Adelaide Oval Fourth Test: Thursday 25 December – Monday 29 December (11:30pm) – Melbourne Cricket Ground 5th Test: Sunday 4 January to Thursday 8 January (11:30pm) – Sydney Cricket Ground


