Deir El Bala and Khan Yunis, Gaza Strip – As he has done many times since bodies began arriving from Israel, Israa al-Ahel stares at the big screen.
This process repeats. Whenever Palestinian bodies are released by Israel, they arrive at Nasser Hospital in southern Gaza, where they are photographed by forensic staff. Photos of the dead will then be projected on a screen in a large hall for the families and friends of the missing Palestinians to watch.
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As one photo changes to the next, those in attendance scramble to recognize their loved ones in hopes of a proper burial and some closure.
Israa is not alone but looking for two people: her husband, Yasser al-Tawil, and her brother Dia al-Ail. She believes they are both dead.
Contact between the two sides was lost on October 7, 2023, when the Gaza War began. They are believed to have been near the Israeli border fence when the fighting began, but have not been heard from since.
Israa began making regular trips from her home in Deir el-Balah in central Gaza to the hospital in Khan Younis on October 14, four days after the ceasefire between Israel and Hamas began. Israel handed over 45 bodies that day as part of the agreement, with more bodies returned in the days that followed.
“My mother and mother-in-law, along with my brother and brother-in-law, entrusted me with this painful mission because they couldn’t bear to see that,” Isler said. “I couldn’t believe that I had reached this point in my life. I’m looking for my husband and brother among the dead just to bury them, make their graves and keep their memories.”
But the scene that greeted Isler and dozens of people staring at the screen was terrifying. Many of the bodies are decomposed and many show signs of torture and abuse. The Israeli military provides little biographical information on the bodies it sends to Gaza.
“That was the most painful moment of my life. Every time I looked at the pictures, I gasped in horror at what they had done to the body,” Isler said. “I almost lost my mind comparing the beautiful image of my husband in my memory to the horrific photo on the screen.”
“I saw bodies with stones, sand and nails stuffed in their mouths. Some were blindfolded and handcuffed. Some had their nails and fingers cut. Some had lost limbs. Some bodies looked like they had been run over by a tank,” she added. “It was brutal, inhuman torture, something I had never imagined. I felt completely burnt out and cried all the way home.”
The session lasted four hours, but despite multiple attempts to analyze each photo, it turned out that Yasser and Dia were not among them.
disappearance
Yasser, who was in his early 30s at the time of his disappearance, typically spent Friday nights with friends and returned home in the morning.
So the last time Ms. Isler saw her husband was early Friday morning, which happened to be October 6, 2023.
“Everything was normal that night,” Isler said. “I called him around 1 a.m. before going to bed. Our only daughter, Abir (4 years old), had a fever. He reassured me that he would be home by 6 a.m.”
Isra woke up on Saturday to the sounds of rockets and bombings.
“I couldn’t believe what was happening. I got scared and immediately tried to call my husband, but he couldn’t get through,” she recalled.
“There was no electricity or internet to understand what was happening, so I went to a nearby apartment to follow the news. That’s when I realized the magnitude of what was happening,” said Isler, who works as a journalist.
Isra tried to call Yasser, but he couldn’t get through. After several hours, she was finally able to contact one of Yasser’s friends. He told her that when a group of friends heard about the Hamas-led attack on southern Israel, they became curious and went to eastern Khan Yunis, near where they live.
However, in the midst of the chaos in the border area, the two become separated. The friend didn’t know what happened to her husband.
“His words shocked me. I was scared and kept wondering why he went there,” Isler said sadly. “The situation that day was chaotic, and many civilians crossed the border area with Israel on October 7.”
To make matters worse, Isler’s family told her that her 24-year-old brother Dia also went missing after going to the border area with friends.
As the situation worsened, one of Yasser’s friends advised Isler to search for a nearby hospital among the injured and dead.
“I left my daughter with a neighbor and went to the hospital myself, running among the bodies,” Isler said, swallowing back tears. “It was heartbreaking. I couldn’t believe my husband could be dead or one of his bodies.”
But she could not find her husband among the injured and dead. Family members who searched for their missing brother in a hospital in Gaza City found nothing.
“I went home completely heartbroken. There was nothing more terrifying than losing my husband and brother on the same day without knowing anything about them.”
Isla described the crushing loneliness she felt when she spent the night at home with her only child for the first time since getting married in 2019.
“Our life was happy and rosy in every sense of the word. Yasser was a loving husband, a kind father, and very generous to us. Losing him completely broke my heart,” Isler said through tears.
endless exploration
In the two years since then, Isra has not been able to grieve for Yasser or Dia. Her family has contacted the Red Cross and the Palestinian Ministry of Health, but has received no information. While it may be unlikely that the two were captured, Isler and his family believe it is likely they were killed.
As the war dragged on, Israelis and their families, like most other peoples in Gaza, were caught up in a tragedy of displacement and terror, moving more than nine times within the enclave.
Seeing the pain of war, she often wondered if her husband and brother had been spared excruciating suffering.
“But the burden fell on me,” Isler said sadly. “I decided to return to work as a freelance journalist for international and Arab media in order to focus on myself and stop drowning in sadness.”
The cease-fire agreement once again raises the possibility that Yasser and Diaa may finally be found.
Since his fruitless trip on October 14, Isler has returned to Nasser Hospital repeatedly.
The process is the same. She sits and looks at the big screen, checking the photos again on the Ministry of Health website whenever she has internet access.
However, the condition of the bodies made them difficult to recognize and often caused confusion.
“We asked our staff to go back to the photos and zoom in on the hands and body parts. Everyone was nervous, clinging to a glimmer of hope that they would find their loved ones,” Isler said.
“The mother next to me recognized her son through his clothes and screamed. She broke down in tears, but was relieved that she had finally found him,” Isler recalled. “Despite the pain, I felt happy for her. I continued to carefully examine the corpse’s hands, looking for her husband’s wedding ring.”
Isler was once convinced that one of the bodies on display was her husband’s. “After a detailed examination, we were convinced it was him. We went to the hospital with the hope of finally burying him. However, when we examined the body, the underwear and body shape did not match.”
The forensic department requested clear identification marks before handing over the body to the family.
“I witnessed three families arguing over one body, each believing it was their son,” she said. “In the end, one father proved it was his by showing evidence of an old injury on his leg. Forensic scientists confirmed it and handed it over.”
“The world is not fair,” Isler added. “All the excavation and detection equipment has been brought in to identify the bodies of Israelis held in Gaza, but not a single DNA testing machine is allowed here, and dozens of bodies are buried every day without identification. What is the logic behind this?”
Isla describes the time as excruciatingly painful. Friends and relatives begged her to stop torturing herself and rest after searching yet another group of bodies.
“They told me, ‘Have mercy on yourself, we’ll bury you before we bury your husband. Just stop,'” she said. “But deep down I could never forgive myself. What if my husband and brother were among the bodies and no one would recognize them? I could never forgive myself.”
“All I want is for them to be buried with honor.”
