I’ve been researching happiness for 15 years and interviewing thousands of people about what helps them thrive. The happiest people I talk to are also the most mentally stable.
Research shows that people with high emotional security have greater resilience, psychological well-being, and relationship satisfaction throughout their lives, all of which contribute to overall well-being.
Emotional stability is reflected in how we navigate uncertainty, how we respond when things don’t go our way, and how we deal with difficult situations.
These are seven quiet yet powerful traits that the most emotionally stable people share.
1. They don’t mind being misunderstood.
Mentally stable people don’t over-explain themselves.
For example, a strategic decision you make may be misread by your colleagues. Emotionally stable people don’t rush to defend themselves or send follow-up emails explaining their reasoning in detail.
They believe that their track record speaks for itself and does not always require rebuttal.
2. Don’t be afraid to change your mind
Even when faced with new information, people often double down on their opinions to protect their egos. This is called “persistent belief.”
Research shows that people who associate their identity with being “right” are much more likely to resist evidence that challenges their views.
But if your identity isn’t fused with your opinions, you won’t feel lost if you change your mind. Emotionally stable people understand that change means growth.
3. High tolerance for uncertainty
Mentally stable people are comfortable saying, “I don’t know yet.” Uncertainty increases curiosity rather than anxiety.
This may seem like being okay with not knowing what’s going to happen next as you navigate a difficult career transition. Or develop a new product with confidence, even if you don’t know how it will be received by customers.
Research shows that people with a high tolerance for ambiguity are also more resilient, make better decisions under pressure, and are better at problem solving in volatile environments.
4. Don’t get angry easily
Insecure people are always on guard, looking for any perceived disrespect in every interaction. You might think that people who don’t do the same have lower standards or are naive.
Mentally stable people generously give benefits to others. They believe that even when they are wronged, they can handle it with grace.
5. You don’t have to decide on the last word.
Think about the last time you were in a meeting and you weren’t the one making the final decision. Was it annoying? For people who are mentally stable, the answer is no.
They never feel the need to dominate the room and conversation is not a competition to them. If someone disagrees with you, you don’t have to “win” to move on.
6. They seek people who challenge them.
Emotionally stable people want to spend time with people who challenge them, go beyond themselves, and see the world differently. They understood that being around others’ excellence led to personal growth.
If you want to test your level of psychological safety, ask yourself the following questions: When was the last time you weren’t the most effective person in the room? Did it make you feel uncomfortable or energized?
The next time you’re with someone whose accomplishments make you feel small, ask them how they think and what’s important to them. You might be surprised by the interaction.
7. They are not affected by envy.
Think back to the last time a colleague got the opportunity you wanted. It’s human nature to want to check our worth by comparison.
It’s rare that you can see someone succeed without it affecting your self-worth, but it’s one of the most obvious signs of emotional security.
The happiest and most mentally stable people understand that when others win, they don’t lose. There is room for everyone.
Jessica Weiss is a happiness expert, executive coach, and TEDx speaker. She is the author of Happiness Works: The Science of Thriving at Work.
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