Happiness researcher Sonya Lyubomirsky suggests having deep conversations, showing gratitude, and performing acts of kindness as tips for finding joy. All three have the effect of making you feel closer to the other person.
“The key to happiness is feeling loved and connected to other people,” says the distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside.
Lyubomirsky, a mother of four, wants to help her children find joy, too. “That’s what we want most for our children,” she says, “to be happier.”
Here are her tips for parents who want to raise happier children:
Two tips for raising happy children
1. Encourage deeper conversations
Through his research, Lyubomirsky found that the best way to be happier is to feel more connected to other people. And deep, meaningful conversations are the best way to do that.
Having these conversations is a skill that children can be taught and encouraged to practice in their own relationships, whether with friends, teachers, or anyone else in their lives.
She told kids to “cultivate curiosity about their friends’ interests and try to talk to them more and ask them questions.”
2. Don’t forget skinship
Lyubomirsky will also remind parents of the importance of physical contact and hugging. It’s “something we end up with even less of, especially as our kids grow up,” she says.
However, research shows that physical contact, such as hugs and cuddles, is important for children’s development.
Lyubomirsky sometimes hugs his 24-year-old son. “I think he likes it,” she says.
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