Anastasiya Minkova collapsed in shock when she returned home from a trip last September to find that her husband had moved away, taking their two-year-old son with her.
The American and Russian nationals are currently fighting over custody of their children, and CNN has called Ren to protect his identity.
Minkova last saw Ren six months ago, when they spent 30 minutes together playing with toys under the supervision of staff at an orphanage.
“My son held onto me tightly and wouldn’t let go. He pressed his head against my chest and seemed relieved to finally see me,” Minkova told CNN.
“When the time passed, I was completely heartbroken.”
The family lived in Shikoku, Japan, where until a law change in April of this year, only one parent could be considered the legal guardian of a child after divorce.
Since the parent usually lives with the child, lawyers encouraged their clients to advise them to flee with the child before proceeding with the divorce. The act could be considered parental kidnapping in other countries, but it is not illegal in Japan, lawyers told CNN.
“When a parent leaves home with their child, it means that parent becomes the primary caretaker during the legal process. The parent’s position is much stronger than the parent who left behind,” said family lawyer Masanori Tanabe.
Japan’s Ministry of Justice said the new law should address the issue of child abduction by allowing parents to be recognized as legal guardians and requiring divorced parents to “respect each other’s dignity.”
The department said if they don’t cooperate and one of them takes custody of the child, it could be at a disadvantage in future custody proceedings.
But lawyers told CNN it’s unclear how courts will interpret the law, saying joint custody is not automatic and does not guarantee joint custody.
Campaigners and parents also say the bill does nothing to strengthen the rights of “left behind” parents whose children are left in the sole care of their ex-spouse.
Minkova met her current husband on Facebook in 2013, and they met in Japan four years after they got married.
Minkova said that even before she became pregnant with Len in 2022, troublesome signs began to appear in their relationship. She said that after the birth of her son, her husband became increasingly critical of her parenting and asked him to make all decisions about how to raise their children.
Minkova had been considering divorce, but when she left to visit family in Russia last September, she said she didn’t expect to return to an empty house.
“Looking back, that was the biggest mistake I made in my life,” she told CNN. “But I never imagined he would take that opportunity and walk out.”
Minkova said Len’s father contacted her via text message to say he had taken his son and allowed him to visit her for an hour a week.
That wasn’t enough for Minkova.
She said they first met at a shopping mall and then at her parents’ home in Shikoku, but her husband decided on the terms. “It’s really terrible because I had to say goodbye to my son every time,” Minkova said. “He was putting his son in the car, and his son looked heartbroken every time.”
According to Minkova and a police report seen by CNN, police were called after she and her husband got into an argument over their son at the supermarket, and the case was referred to Japan’s Child Welfare Agency.
She said the Japanese government’s child welfare agency returned Ren to his father after a turbulent few weeks in which he spent some time in a temporary shelter.
Minkova has not yet filed for divorce, so she officially maintains the same custody rights as Ren’s father, although they do not have equal access.
CNN has contacted Minkova’s husband, who said that Japanese child welfare authorities are already involved in the matter.
“As court proceedings are ongoing and the facts have not yet been determined, we must respectfully refrain from commenting on the details,” he added.
A recent landmark amendment to Japan’s civil code aims to create more equal rights by introducing the concept of “joint custody” for divorced parents.
The Ministry of Justice released a statement saying, “It is expected that parents will consider raising a child after divorce from the perspective of the child’s best interests, and that parents will continue to be appropriately involved in raising children and fulfill their responsibilities even after divorce.”
But some experts say this is not a quick fix for parents like Minkova.
“The literal translation of the Japanese word ‘joint custody’ is ‘custodial authority,’ not ‘custodial authority,'” said Masami Tachibana, a family lawyer who is not involved in Minkova’s case.
“This means that both parents have equal rights to make important decisions for their children when it comes to things like education and health care, but there is still no guarantee that they will share parenting time.
“Unfortunately, past cases have shown that courts are unlikely to convert a sole custody arrangement to a joint custody arrangement unless the parent can demonstrate that there has been a material change in circumstances.”
Not all parents in Japan support joint custody. Some fear it will force people fleeing abusive partners to remain in relationships with their ex-spouse.
However, lawyers told CNN that the proposed amendment would allow for no contact in cases of domestic violence or child abuse.
Emily Sato, who is using a pseudonym for legal reasons, said she and her infant daughter disappeared in 2022, shortly after her husband began divorce proceedings.
“When I got home one day, most of the furniture had been removed,” Sato, an American living in Tokyo, told CNN.
“I received an email saying he had moved with my daughter. I immediately went to her school, but was told that my daughter was absent and had already been taken off the pick-up list.”
By the time Sato’s case was evaluated, her daughter was already living alone with her father, and the court treated that arrangement as if it were a stable environment that would not be disturbed, she said.
Family lawyer Taka Tachibana said the main challenge for foreign parents in Japan is not that they are more vulnerable, but that they often lack adequate representation.
“In many cases, foreign parents believe they are being discriminated against because they are foreign, but courts do not discriminate much based on nationality,” she says.
Rather, Kitaka said, language barriers and limited information can hinder their ability to effectively navigate legal situations.
Despite not seeing her daughter since November, Sato continues to live in Japan. “I can’t bear the thought of being away from my child,” she said.
Sato said the move to joint custody in Japan is “an important step in principle,” but the situation will not improve unless shared access rights are enforced.
“Without meaningful enforcement, legal rights do not guarantee actual access, and the benefits gained from child removal can persist even under joint custody, making litigation more complex,” she said.
When Seattle resident Jeffrey Morehouse avoids family vacations and weekend trips to the grocery store, it’s easy to think about his son, Mochi, who he lost 16 years ago.
“It’s just too painful,” he told CNN. “I might meet kids who are the same age I was when I last saw my son. Then they might remember the first days when he was kidnapped.”
In 2007, Morehouse was granted primary custody of her son in Washington state. Her son’s nickname, “Mochi,” means “mochi” in Japanese, and can also mean “sweet” or “lovable.”
Three years later, his wife moved to Japan with their son, which Morehouse calls a “kidnapping” under U.S. law.
“He was 6 1/2 years old,” said Morehouse, who runs Bringing Abducted Children Home, an advocacy group for left-behind parents in America.
“The last time I held Mochi and the last time I heard his voice was on Father’s Day 2010. I love Mochi wherever he is.”
Morehouse said the court found that his U.S. custody order has legal validity in Japan, and secured two landmark decisions that further support this.
But he said Japan “will not abide by laws and treaties to return children to their rightful homes.”
Japan’s Ministry of Justice told CNN that it handles international child abduction cases “appropriately” based on the United Nations Convention and the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, signed in 2014.
From 2017 to 2025, family courts in Tokyo and Osaka issued restitution orders in 70% of cases in the first instance and 63% in appeals courts, both higher than the international average of 59%, the spokesperson said.
But Morehouse, who has spent more than a decade campaigning for the return of abducted American children to Japan, doubts whether Japan’s civil code reforms will make much of a difference.
“It does not address the fundamental systemic issues and does not change the structural conditions that enable parents to abduct children,” he said.
“What they should have done is take the next step and say, ‘We’re creating co-parenting and co-custody, and we’re going to find a way to make it enforceable.'”
John Gomez, founder of the charity Kizuna Child-Parent Reunion, has been campaigning to protect children’s rights and restore relationships with their parents in Japan for nearly 20 years.
Gomez, an American citizen who lives in Tokyo, said her organization has spoken to more than 200 parents affected by the issue and “a clear pattern is emerging from case to case.”
“Family law attorneys advise their clients to kidnap children. Kidnapping of children by parents is not treated as a criminal matter, it is treated as a civil matter,” Gomez told CNN.
“Despite the wishes of many Japanese parents, the recent civil code amendments do not address the abduction of children by parents, so it is certainly imaginable that kidnappings will occur,” he added.
Masayuki Honda, an international lawyer, told CNN that granting guardianship of children to parents after divorce does not necessarily lead to a reduction in child “abductions.”
“The new law is not effective enough to remove this incentive,” he said, noting that there are fewer consequences for parents who flee.
Minkova also questioned how things would play out in court, particularly in her own lawsuit seeking greater access to her son Len.
“The reality is that courts may deny joint custody if the parents cannot agree on terms, and this is the reality for many couples going through divorce,” she said.
“In such circumstances, there is still no guarantee that the child will be able to maintain a meaningful relationship with his or her parents.”
For Ren, that’s what he fears most.
CNN’s Yumi Asada and Ayuka Nitta contributed to this report.
