When you walk into an intimidating environment expecting success, it goes spectacularly and spectacularly wrong.
No, we’re not referring to Monty Panesar’s appearance on Celebrity Mastermind in 2019. The show featured a surprise appearance by the former England international spinner in the turbulent Ashes reinforcements as he was embroiled in an altercation with current Australian international batsman Steve Smith.
Instead, we are talking about England’s fate in the first Test. As you can probably tell by now, that game didn’t end well for them.
It was a poor start for them too (172 all out, 33 overs on the first day), but by lunchtime on the second day they had regained control and led Australia by 99 runs with nine wickets in their second innings. Two-and-a-half hours later, they had somehow lost through their own mistakes and the immense talent of their short-notice replacement, Travis Head.
Travis Head scores 123 off 83 balls as Australia cruise to victory on the second night at Optus Stadium.
Just like when Panesar sat on the famous black chair on the BBC quiz, England came up with a number of wrong answers.
Panesar’s incorrect responses included statements such as Athens being a German city, Oliver Twist being the season of the year (an innocuous gaffe that we can laugh about now), and that England’s failures were mainly due to their bats.
England ease their lines as Australia win 1-0
When Ben Stokes’ side rolled Australia out for 132 to take a 40-run lead in the first innings, it looked like they would avoid the 5-12 first innings collapse that occurred when they regularly attacked the confines of the vast Optus Stadium and were forced deep.
The ferocity of the pace attack of Jofra Archer, Mark Wood, Brydon Kearse and Gus Atkinson, combined with Stokes’ aura, contributed to a five-wicket haul that left England fans thinking they could win not just the match, but the series as well. However, the tourists suffered a battering injury for the second time in recent days.
England lose the five-match Ashes series 1-0 after blowout in Perth
The 4-11 slump, which would have been 5-11 had Usman Khawaja caught Jamie Smith’s slip, came amid an even bigger slump of 6-69. Ollie Pope and Harry Brook got caught behind on the climb – a no-no on a bouncy course like Perth, says Sky Sports’ Nasser Hussain as he analyzes the incredible two-day defeat.
England cricket supporters hate losing. They certainly don’t like losing in two days. And they will definitely hate losing to Australia. But what makes this result particularly difficult to accept is how much of a missed opportunity it is.
At the first stump, all the pressure was on Australia.
Jake Weatherald’s blob on his debut and 38-year-old Khawaja’s two goals while battling back spasms left question marks over selection, with some speculating that the round of golf before the series was to blame. England aren’t the only ones who like to dust off their clubs…
But make no mistake, all the pressure is now firmly on England.
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Sky Sports’ Stuart Broad was stunned when Mitchell Starc took the wicket of Joe Root during England’s second-day batting collapse. Photo (@7Cricket)
England criticized by British media after struggling
The Western Australian newspapers had a field day at the result, mocking the Buzz Ball before the ball was even thrown. British media headlines were also scathing, with the Telegraph calling England “heartless” and saying their batting effort was “an insult to Test cricket”. “Weak” and “humiliating,” others typed.
It’s not hard to see how that will turn out if they are spotted playing golf between December 4 and the second day-night Test in Brisbane.
England’s winless record in Tests in Australia now stands at 16 matches. The last three tours have ended 5-0, 4-0 and 4-0, showing how quickly and dramatically things can spiral out of control when you lose the opening round.
This England team has a better backbone than previous teams, but they need to eliminate mistakes.
Attacking the cricket is not the problem, but the lack of ruthlessness is. You can also produce both. Head produced both, scoring a 69-ball hundred to lead Australia to victory. He realized his team’s best chance of victory was to score before the ball hit Perth’s pitch, where Brook was the only player to hit 50 balls.
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Nasser reflects on how England were slammed by Head in Perth and how they will now be ‘bashed’ by the media
England’s freewheeling approach has been great for Test cricket, but it’s often been great for their opponents as well. It gives them a way back into the game they should be out of. That was one of the reasons why they didn’t win the last Ashes, and why they lost 4-1 in India in the winter of 2024, which was a closer match than the scoreline suggests.
Rethinking the pink ball?
Now England must decide how to handle next weekend’s pink-ball warm-up with the Australian Prime Minister’s eleven in Canberra, which was scheduled to feature only Lions players.
One former captain, Michael Bourne, told the BBC it would be “amateur” if the full team did not turn up for that adjustment opportunity, while another captain, Michael Atherton, told Sky Sports that batsmen should be asked if they thought they needed a hit, citing Zak Crawley, England’s first opener since Atherton himself in 1999.
Australia’s Mitchell Starc has been tested more day-night Tests than any other bowler.
It shouldn’t be all doom and gloom for tourists, but Australia’s record in pink-ball Tests (13 wins from 14, including all three matches against England) is certainly wincing.
Australian seamer Josh Hazlewood is unlikely to be ready for the day-night game and fellow quick Pat Cummins says there is only a “half chance”, but the hosts’ shortcomings have not suddenly disappeared.
However, there is a risk that England’s flaws will be brutally exposed in Perth and leave a scar.
If Stokes and head coach Brendon McCullum can lead the Ashes to victory from here, it will be something of an achievement. Can England outperform Panesar and find the right answer?
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England captain Ben Stokes has urged his players not to dwell on their side’s opening Ashes defeat by eight wickets.
Ashes Series in Australia 2025-26
always UK and Ireland
1st test (Perth – 21st to 25th November): Australia defeats England by 8 wickets 2nd Test (day/night): Thursday 4th December to Monday 8th December (4am) – The Gabba, Brisbane 3rd Test : Wednesday 17 December – Sunday 21 December (11:30pm) – Adelaide Oval Fourth Test: Thursday 25 December – Monday 29 December (11:30pm) – Melbourne Cricket Ground 5th Test: Sunday 4 January to Thursday 8 January (11:30pm) – Sydney Cricket Ground
