Why Gen Z doesn’t see marriage as part of the American dream

Traditionally, achieving the American Dream usually means going to college, getting married, buying a house, and having children.

According to a recent CNBC and SurveyMonkey American Dream Pulse survey, Gen Z may be more inclined to skip the marriage part. Of the 4,130 survey respondents, marriage was one of the least important indicators of feeling like they had achieved the American Dream, far behind achievements like financial security, homeownership, and simply happiness.

Only 37% of Gen Z respondents considered marriage essential. It’s departure. Two-thirds (67%) of U.S. high school seniors surveyed in 2023 said they were likely to get married someday, down from 80% who said the same in 1993, according to Pew Research Center data.

Gen Z is young, currently between the ages of 14 and 29, and has plenty of time to think about the rest of their lives. But their relative disinterest in marriage, if left unchecked, could cause them problems later in life, from loneliness to financial hardship, psychologists and money experts suggest.

According to data from the U.S. Census Bureau, single people under the age of 35 in the United States have a lower median net worth, at about $22,000 for men and $9,000 for women, compared to a combined median of nearly $114,000 for married couples of the same age. According to a 2023 Gallup poll, 61% of married Americans say they are “successful” in life, compared to just 45% of unmarried Americans.

“The data is really clear that your life is much better when you have someone who loves you and someone who loves you,” says John Gottman, a clinical psychologist, relationship expert, and co-founder of the Gottman Institute, a Seattle-based couples counseling group.

Those who partner up are waiting longer. Many Gen Zers view marriage as a “culmination” experience rather than a “cornerstone” in their lives, Gottman said. In other words, they are more likely than previous generations to want to achieve at least some major life milestones on their own before feeling ready to settle down and get married, and may even be prioritizing their own happiness and satisfaction over the pursuit of marriage.

Here’s why, according to some Gen Zers, and what psychology and money experts say it means for the future of the American Dream.

Although marriage may not directly promote economic security, home ownership, or general happiness, indicators such as household wealth and reported life satisfaction are higher among married Americans. Still, according to Pew, marriage rates among young people have plummeted since 1980, making young Americans some of the least happy in the world, according to the World Happiness Report 2026, released March 19.

Potential cause: Gen Z may be lonely. According to a poll released in April 2025 by the Harvard Kennedy School Institute of Politics, only 17% of American adults under 30 feel “deeply connected to at least one community.” Less social and community involvement means fewer opportunities to find a future partner who shares your values ​​and makes you happy, which may help explain the country’s declining marriage rates.

Gender disparities in education and the resulting disparity in economic opportunities are also contributing to Gen Z’s reluctance to marry. Young women are increasingly earning bachelor’s degrees at a higher rate than men, economic opportunities for men without college degrees are worsening, and the population of men who women are more likely to consider suitable husbands is shrinking.

Gottman said some men have developed toxic attitudes toward women in response. “We’ve seen a lot of misogyny rise recently,” he says, referring to the so-called “manosphere,” a collective term for online communities and influencers who denounce feminism and promote traditional gender roles in relationships. Gottman points out that this trend certainly won’t help the country’s declining marriage rate.

Given this background, it’s no wonder that some young women choose to pursue financial security on their own. Until the 1970s, women needed a male guarantor, often their husband, to buy a home or get a credit card. Since then, personal economic prospects have improved and the gender pay gap has narrowed in some cases. According to the latest data from Pew (released in March 2024), women ages 25 to 34 now earn $0.95 for every dollar earned by men in the same age group, up from about $0.74 in 1982.

Isabel Crawford, a 25-year-old New York City DJ and event photographer, said she grew up in Philadelphia thinking she would go to college, get a good job and get married because that’s what her parents, grandparents and family friends had done. After moving to New York and seeing unmarried women having successful careers and fulfilling lives, she says she has since boycotted marriage altogether.

“Is it written on paper that women have to make sacrifices[in marriages]? No, but they keep repeating it over and over again,” Crawford says.

Many young Americans are still getting married, including those who previously rejected the concept. They’re just doing it later than previous generations.

Sarah Wu, 29, a public relations professional in New York, grew up not wanting to get married. One reason for this was that he struggled with his self-esteem as a Chinese-American living in the predominantly white suburbs of New Jersey. She says they got married on June 27 after meeting the right person after a journey of self-discovery. She says finding a partner helped her realize that her negative view of marriage was a defense to protect her from the pain of rejection.

Mr. Wu is coordinating timing with his colleagues. According to data from the U.S. Census Bureau, the median age at first marriage for Americans will be about 28 years old for women and 31 years old for men by 2025, up from 22 years old for women and 24 years old for men in 1980.

However, delaying marriage can have long-term effects on individuals, such as waiting to take advantage of financial benefits such as filing joint taxes, joint health insurance, and Social Security benefits. Douglas Bonepers, a certified financial planner and co-author with his wife, Heather, of Money Together, a book about how couples navigate the emotional and psychological aspects of money, says that solidifying your financial ways too much before marriage can make it more difficult to achieve shared goals with your spouse.

“If you create financial silos or operate too independently from a financial perspective, you’re actually doing yourself a disservice,” Bonepers says. Often, big goals “require more teamwork,” he added.

But worrying about the future of a marriage depends first on whether it can be built, and some Gen Zers say they can achieve the American Dream on their own. For example, Crawford said she expects to enjoy more financial freedom in her 30s as she grows in her career. She added that she gets much of the emotional fulfillment she needs from platonic relationships.

“I’ve been through so much from women in my life that I can’t imagine a man to ever compare to this or truly be able to offer me the boundless love that my friends give me,” Crawford says.

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