Many Americans are waiting even longer to achieve traditional milestones like getting married, having children, and buying a home.
Gail Rudnick has some grandmotherly advice for late bloomers: “Everything doesn’t have to be perfect.”
The 84-year-old is one of the members of the podcast Excuse My Grandma, where she and her 30-year-old granddaughter Kim Murstein discuss dating, career, family and other topics from a generational perspective.
On the one hand, Ms. Rudnick is pleased to see today’s young people waiting longer to get married compared to her own experience as a member of the silent generation.
“When I was younger, within three (or) four months or less, you got engaged, you got married, you had kids. That’s what was expected of you,” Rudnick told CNBC Make It. Today, young people can prioritize education and early careers and “do something creative and amazing” professionally, but Rudnick said he didn’t have that opportunity.
But Rudnick said she worries people are putting off serious relationships out of fear. “I think a lot of what young people do is for the best. But they’re a little bit afraid of commitment. They’re afraid of failing.”
Fear of failure is a common emotion across generations, she says. “I tell everyone I meet: ‘Don’t worry. If you fail, you’ll get back up and do it again.'”
Many Gen Zers view marriage as a “culmination” experience rather than a “foundation” in their lives, John Gottman, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert, told CNBC Make It in July. Young adults often want to achieve some milestones or check off certain boxes for themselves before they feel ready to settle down.
Rudnick wants young people to invest in their relationships while balancing financial goals and career ambitions, even if everything doesn’t work out in the long run. “I don’t want to just sit in an office and create a portfolio,” she says, adding that she believes true happiness comes from “coexistence” with others.
Americans now spend less time socializing than they did 20 years ago, according to data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And when it comes to dating, half of singles say they’re going on fewer dates because of rising costs.
Rudnick’s idea of ”oneness” can be the missing ingredient in some people’s happiness and well-being, whether it’s with a partner, family, or friends. Researchers say a sense of belonging is essential to a good life, and a lack of social connection can contribute to an increased risk of heart disease, stroke and self-harm.
Rudnick said it’s important for young people to get used to risk and failure, but added that there’s no age limit for continuing to do so. She says it proves there is no deadline for people to do what they feel they missed out on earlier in life.
“At 79 years old, I went to work,” she says of starting a new podcasting career with her granddaughter in 2021. “It gives hope to everyone at any stage in their life who really wants to start doing something different. They should.”
